eff_ess_oe: Edited fanart of Morbius with Steve Buscemi's eyes. From Vinesauce Joel's "Wish Dumpster Diving 6" (Default)
Can't believe it's 20 fuckin 25. Sci fi dystopia ass year. Praying it doesn't actually become one (at least, not in my neck of the woods). But we're gonna put that aside and focus on more positive stuff. So here we go...

[SHIT I DID] )


[SHIT I WANNA DO MORE OFTEN] )

[SHIT I WANNA START DOING] )

Finally, I know I should've put this in the "Shit I wanna do more often" section, but I wanted to leave this out of a cut so ppl could read it without clicking any links. This is IMPORTANT. (or maybe not in the grand scheme of things, but oh well.) I wanna start posting on DW more often. I mean, I post fairly often on Blorbo.social (which y'all should totes follow me on if you're on the Fediverse), but this is better for more long winded diatribes. Or maybe even shorter diatribes. Idk. But either way I wanna post more updates about my life, back up more fics, maybe do some community posts if I find anything worth sharing. So expect me here more often? I dunno. Only time will tell. Anyway, happy new yonks, and peace out~~~
eff_ess_oe: Edited fanart of Morbius with Steve Buscemi's eyes. From Vinesauce Joel's "Wish Dumpster Diving 6" (Default)
Kinda found myself getting in a slump today, so I did a few things to ease myself out of it. I did do some chores, but that's boring, you don't wanna hear about it. So let's get to the fun shit:

- I hauled out my Ancient Windows 7 Clunker Craptop Supreme and started up my semi-annual replay of Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney: The Contempt of Court. (I say "semi annual" because I skipped 2023, even though it did spark some activity in the area of my brain that controls my hyperfixes that year.) If you're an AA fan that hasn't heard of this game, I STRONGLY fuckin recommend you play it. Sure, the gameplay of the first case might be buggy, but it is A+ in all other respects. I have an "iceberg" post in the works that I'm probably gonna put out once I finish playing through it this time around, and I also have a fanfic WIP for it that I'm hauling out of the grave for Finish What You Started this April (after I get through with my current WIP. hopefully). Might also put out a ship manifesto for one of my big ships in it. IDK, depends how I feel. But if you've got a Windows machine (preferably one that's slightly out of date, as I'm not sure how well it'll work on Windows 11), PLAY IT. Please. I'm fuckin dying over here...

- I also finished the 2007 Devil May Cry anime. Yeah, I'm into DMC now. It had the makings of a potential hyperfix (a: it being a Fandom-In-Law bc of folks I follow on Dreamwidth and Aethy, b: me having dipped my toes into it a few years back -- about 2018-2019, I wanna say? but not making anything of it until now, and c: it having a banger soundtrack), and in the latter half of January it crept back into my brain and now I can say I'm enough of a fan? Kinda? But I digress. Anyway, the anime was pretty decent. Episodes 7-8 were a slog to get through, but other than that, it was pretty enjoyable, albeit kinda formulaic. And it deviates quite a bit from the source material, but I didn't really mind. Maybe once I get Proper Gaming Device I can immerse myself more into the series proper.

- Speaking of Proper Gaming Devices, I found out that I can pay for a SteamDeck with accumulated Steam Card money, so I'm either gonna start loading up on those, or... I can get something different. I just learned about the Retroid Pocket, which is an Android-based multi-emulator handheld that fits into my budget way better than a SteamDeck, and aligns more closely with my current gaming tastes. It all comes down to where my tastes end up in a few months' time. For now, I'm still leaning towards the SteamDeck, but I'm keeping the Retroid as a second choice.

- I went on a silly little walk for my silly little mental health. No pictures this time, since a) I didn't take any, and b) it doesn't look pretty outside, unless you find some semblance of beauty in half-melted snow and barren suburban sidewalks. But the fresh air was nice, and I needed to get some cardio in. Hopefully if the weather cooperates within the next few weeks I'll be able to get more in.

- I also cooked up an AMAZING grilled cheese sandwich for last night's dinner using this recipe on Tumblr. I'd actually made it before, but this time I managed to avoid burning the garlic, which ruled.

- Finally, I have the draft? script? etc. for my tattoo appointment request. I'm glad the artist I chose takes Insta DMs and provided a template for them, which saves me a fuckton of social spoons. Now all I have to do is send it sometime within the next week. Or two, But I do have the timeframe for the actual appointment ideally set for March, which narrows down when I can send the message without looking like an idiot. Hopefully I can get over my Discomfort With Putting Myself Out There in due time.

That's all for me. See you when I have something else to say.

eff_ess_oe: Screenshot of Venom Snake from MGS5 taking a hit from the Phantom Cigar, with pixelated sunglasses edited over top of his face. (venomsmoke)
Well, it's 2024. First week's gone pretty standard (if hectic, since work was kicking my ass for the first three days). Figured I could use this as an excuse to lay out my intentions for the year, as well as keep track of how much I've stuck to last year's goals.

NEW (ish) SHIT I'M GONNA DO (hopefully)

- Find a way to play actual games on my computer/get a new device for gaming purposes. Probably gonna be the former. I'm gonna look into virtual machines for my shitty Macbook (which isn't *that* shitty tbh, but you can't really do much with that OS). If I can't get the hang of Linux, I'm gonna go with Windows 10. If I do get the hang of Linux, though, I'm gonna install it on my crappy Windows 7 clunker and use it for that (because Steam apparently wants to kill Windows 7 support). I strongly considered getting a SteamDeck, but I realized that even the cheapest model would probably not fit into my credit limit, so I'm probably gonna put that off until the credit card company ups my limit. Either that, or I'm gonna go the slow way and see if I can buy it via Steam gift certificate money that I save throughout the whole year. Whatever. Either way, I'm determined to get back into actual gaming soon.

- See if there's any classes/courses pertaining to my interests that I can attend in person (or at least, online in a group setting). I NEED to have actual social interaction outside of work, home, or the Internet. Mom recommended me going to group classes for something, so I'm gonna see if that works for me. I do know that there's a jewellery/metalworking course that operates really close to one of the places I work, so if that's in my budget, I'm gonna go for that. If not, I guess I'm gonna have to do more research.

- Get more comfortable with displaying my interests around the house. For a long time, I've largely confined my expression to the Internet/private spaces in my house. Probably as some sort of low-level anxiety/fear of getting negatively judged for what I'm into. But I saw an article from Devon Price (this one) that said getting used to this low-level discomfort is a good thing, and can lead to other opportunities to do things that are (relatively) harmless yet come with the fear of being judged/censured/etc. So I'm gonna follow that advice and see where it leads me, and I figured a good place to start would be displaying my interests more often, even if I feel uncomfortable doing so.

SHIT I'M (hopefully) GONNA KEEP DOING:

- Creating, creating, creating! I've put out a LOT more fics in 2023, and hopefully I can keep that trend going. I've signed up for fic exchanges and other events, so that'll be a good motivator for keeping my creative juices flowing.

- Working out! After a long-ish period of not keeping up my workout schedule in 2023, I did start getting back into it in December. So I'm gonna continue and see how long I can keep it up. And maybe even expand it a bit, because I've got some parts of my body that I feel like I could improve with a little extra exercise. So seeing change in that respect will be a good motivator to keep going.

- Tattoo plans! I've got the design, the artist, AND the timeframe figured out. Now all I have to do is actually book the appointment. Hopefully I can have it in by late winter/early spring.

Also I changed up my Dreamwidth theme and added a few more icons (including the one that graces this entry). So yeah, that's fun~

eff_ess_oe: Edited fanart of Morbius with Steve Buscemi's eyes. From Vinesauce Joel's "Wish Dumpster Diving 6" (Default)
So over this past week, I've had to deal with Round 2 of The Plague(TM). Not really something I've wanted to deal with, especially considering a) obviously I'd had it once before, and b) I work in a setting where I come into contact with a bunch of high risk people on the regular. But on Saturday, my mom got it for the first time. Obviously this got me in Caution Mode, so I immediately went into as much of Self-Quarantine Mode as I could because I didn't want to get it again. And I managed to hold it off long enough that I could a) go on my first solo grocery trip (which went by surprisingly easy), and b) go to work again the next day and not have any real issues. But unfortunately, whether due to chance or to the fact that Mom never bothered to mask/increase the area's ventilation when she had to leave her room, I ended up testing positive on a rapid test Tuesday morning.

The first two days were Not Fun. I even ended up losing my balance and falling over in the hallway en route to my bedroom after getting a small breakfast the second day. I wasn't particularly injured nor did I break anything, but I still kinda got myself into a negative spiral over that, frantically panic-researching what could have caused it. Eventually I came to the conclusion that it was due to adverse side effects from the anti-congestants I was taking, so I didn't take any more of those for the rest of my sick tenure. (Although now I'm certain it was because of fever-induced overheating and ear congestion throwing me off balance. But I still took myself off of the anti-congestants.) But as I regained appetite, put more fluids into myself, and alternated between tucking under the covers and having my window open to thermoregulate, I was able to gain enough strength to shower myself on the fourth day.

Now I'm on my last day of self-imposed exile, and I can safely say I'm all but finished with the symptoms. All I have is some residual phlegm in my throat, but it's not enough to be annoying. I'm still staying on high alert for signs things could get worse (especially now that my immune system's taken a decent-enough beating from having the Plague twice), but I should be OK to go back to work on Monday and reimmerse myself into routine. Might even throw one of my CDs into the car stereo just to give myself some extra enrichment.
eff_ess_oe: Edited fanart of Morbius with Steve Buscemi's eyes. From Vinesauce Joel's "Wish Dumpster Diving 6" (Default)
Been awhile since I posted anything substantial about how my personal life's going, so I might as well do it now. I'm dividing it into topics, so if there's anything specific you wanna look at, just click the relevant section.

The creative front )
Convention haul/plans )
Brainshit )

eff_ess_oe: Edited fanart of Morbius with Steve Buscemi's eyes. From Vinesauce Joel's "Wish Dumpster Diving 6" (Default)
So over the weekend, I 'attended' an online BL convention called CitrusCon, and let me fucking tell you: IT WAS AMAZING. HOLY SHIT. The artists, the panels, the convos I made... all of it was GREAT. And now I get to tell you fucks about it.

So first things first, I managed to strike up some conversations with other people about JJBA. It started with me and one other person talking about La Squadra ships, but other people started jumping on the train and getting into ships from other parts. It was overall very fun and cozy, and now I gotta read through the backlogs and follow some of the people I was talking to because I foolishly didn't do that at the time. Because...

I was busy AF ordering some sweet, sweet Artist Alley merch. My credit card was working overtime. I spent AT LEAST $100 total. And that's a splurge by my cheap-ass standards. But the artists I supported have great stuff. Special shout-out to The Scum Bucket, whose Uke!Squidward zipper suit sticker was too fucking hilarious to pass up, as well as Tokki Darling, who FINALLY gave me an opportunity to purchase merch for my beloved Phantom Blood rarepair, Zeppwagon. (as two separate enamel pins, but they'll arrive together, so I consider it ship merch.)

Even specialer shoutout goes to DigitalPopsicle, who was running a special commission detail of any character you wanted lounging in a citrus-themed cocktail glass for $15. He did this lovely semi-chibified Venom Snake in a lemon glass, who now graces my AO3 and Aethy icons. (Side note: I initially assumed only the fruit would be considered in the citrus theming, which resulted in... an unexpected surprise when I saw the liquid was also part of the color scheme. But it fits with Kojima's vision, so I'll take it.)


A semi-chibified picture of Venom Snake from Metal Gear Solid lounging in a half-full martini glass filled with yellow liquid, presumably lemon juice. There is a round lemon slice around the rim of the glass. Art by @digitalpopsicle.

As for the panels, I started off attending one which discussed people's reasonings behind liking villainous characters in BL/adjacent media, which I found quite interesting. It will likely be on YouTube later in September, so if anyone is interested, I will send the link. But the level of depth that the survey discussed in the panel went into was something else, covering topics related to neurodivergency, active vs. passive fandom participation, stances on fandom discourse, and even an unexpected correlation between liking villainous characters and being less emotionally invested in characters and plotlines as a whole. (Which made more sense once this point was elaborated on, but I wasn't expecting it at first.)

The rest of the panels I sat in upon were mostly party games like Scattergories and a caption-picture matching game. But the most enjoyable game of the con was a BL-themed Cards Against Humanity sesh, which I got to participate in. My best combination had to be (I forget the exact wording) "Check out this fic that's been trending on AO3: a crossover featuring Stalin x Count Chocula!", but it didn't win the round it was played in. I did manage to get one point with a combo suggesting Fox News had more impact than Gravitation, but I didn't really put as much thought into that combo as I did with the Stalin x Count Chocula one. Ah well. It was still tons of fun.

Sunday was a lot less busy because my computer would NOT let me join panels for whatever reason. But I was able to keep chatting with people, as well as find several new Discord servers to hang out in. Special mention to the Nu:Carnival server I joined which has a TON of gold art and fic, as well as a slew of events that I plan on doing something for in the future. (And you'll see it here, of course!)

So that was my weekend. Overall, great experience, and I would totally do it again. (They are offering one next year, which runs for 3 days instead of 2. Hopefully I'll be able to throw myself out there with a bit more oomph next time!)
eff_ess_oe: Edited fanart of Morbius with Steve Buscemi's eyes. From Vinesauce Joel's "Wish Dumpster Diving 6" (Default)
So today marks the last day of me being 23 (at least until 8:20 pm tomorrow). Yay. Suppose I should kinda post an update on how my personal/creative endeavors are going.

First and foremost, come Friday I will be embarking on my first multi-day leisure trip. I'm not going very far from home, and it's likely only gonna be for the weekend (assuming my work doesn't give me time off for next Monday, which from the looks of things they probably won't). But I'm pretty proud of myself for summoning the gumption to fill out a time-off request form and hand it in. My original plan was to not try requesting time off, but the more I think about that, the more I think I was just being a scaredy-cat. Eventually, I came to the conclusion "What's the worst that could happen, they're gonna hand it back to me with a 'Request denied' type thing?" and filled it out and handed it in with the right timing, so aside from staff number issues, I don't see any reason why they wouldn't let me off for one Monday. Either way, I'm still looking forward to my trip. May or may not post about it when I come back, IDK.

Next, I made the half-impulse decision to sign up for a big bang. At first I lowkey regretted my decision because I didn't know if I could pull of 12K words in 2 months. But a) the bang hasn't started yet, so I still have time to get shit done; b) one of the drafts I had lingering for a while is perfect for the event, so I'm just gonna repurpose and expand on that; and c) the server for the bang is full of super-supportive people, and they're gonna have semi-weekly writing seshes for everyone on the writing end of the bang (which is obvs what I'm doing). So with a little extra exec-function boosting juice (aka. coffee or tea, whichever's more convenient at the time), I should hopefully get through it scot-free. You will see my finished fic on here, of course, but the end of the bang's still a while off, so just hold on.

In terms of other creative endeavors, I am currently on my fifth? sixth? i don't know anymore... attempt at knitting a Sticky Fingers (JoJo) amigurumi to complement the Moody Blues one I made last year. Yet for some reason, I cannot get used to knitting it in a way that doesn't result in a bunch of gaps from loose stitches showing up in my work. I don't know if it's because I'm using joined needles as opposed to actual DPN's, or if it's because my yarn is being a dick. But hey, at least the unsuccessful attempts will make for good stuffing.

I also have more plans to go to cons! I know for sure I'm going to another online con this summer. I went to one last summer and it was pretty fun, and the one I have my eyes on is run by one of the people who ran a panel there, so hopefully that should indicate good quality for this one. I may or may not also try to go to an IRL local one, although apparently the ones in my area are a) essentially over-glorified dealer's rooms, and b) run by shitty people (at least, one of them is). So the jury's still out on whether or not I go to that one, although a bitch needs some IRL nerd interaction, so I might go anyway just to see if I can potentially make friends. But as stated earlier, I'm still going to the online one. Might post more details as that one looms closer, so people know where to find me then.

Finally, I'm hoping to get a tattoo over the summer. I've narrowed down the design (a black cat), the location (my calf), and the artist (one of two really good local traditional artists in my area -- whichever one I pick will depend on whose books open first). All that's left is to wait for a book opening, and then a good date and timeslot that won't interfere with anything else on my agenda.

So that's all for now with regards to my 24-year-old goals. Will I attain them? Only time will tell, but I should be able to. See y'all on the flip side.
eff_ess_oe: Edited fanart of Morbius with Steve Buscemi's eyes. From Vinesauce Joel's "Wish Dumpster Diving 6" (Default)
So 2022's finally coming to an end, and I figure I may as well do a little highlight reel-type writeup of everything that's happened to me, both good and bad, as well as what I wanna do in the new year. Starting with the big milestones:

- I am now a full time worker! I was working at the same place part time starting 2021, but one of the full time people quit because of recurring injuries earlier this year. So now I've taken up her position, and now work an actual 40-hour Monday to Friday schedule. It eats up a LOT of time, but it also pays decently for my current living situation. So I'm satisfied with it for now.

- Next, I got my G2 driver's license! This means I can drive without having someone else in the passenger seat, and it also means I can drive practically anywhere. (However, I ain't touching the highways until spring hits. Not risking getting myself into a spinout with a fuckton of cars coming at me at over 100 km/h). Next year (or probably a little into the year after, lbr) I'm gonna try for my full G, and then I'm gonna be fully licensed! Fuck yes~

Now for some smaller accomplishments:

- I got back into UTAU. Still only using jinriki for the time being, but I am interested in using legit UTAU once I get the handle of CV voicebanks. (Yes, I know CV voicebanks exist for non-jinriki UTAU but idc.) I only put out two covers this year, but I do have another one in the works that'll hopefully be ready for release in a week if my executive dysfunction stays at bay.

- I attended FujoCon this summer. Of course, it was online, so "attended" is kind of a stretch bc I didn't have to leave my house whatsoever. But I did manage to put together a cosplay, participate in some of the games and panels they put on, and even get involved in a new fandom! (It's Nu: Carnival, if anyone's curious.) It was fun, and I'd definitely attend it or other online conventions again in the future.

- I've also started gaming more. There was a pretty big stretch last year where I didn't really play any video games because my clunky old Windows 7 laptop shat the bed when trying to run an RPG Maker MV game. But after testing out some of the Wolf RPG and RPG Maker VX Ace games I have on it, I found out that I can still play them OK. Plus, I got invested in two mobile games: the aforementioned Nu: Carnival, as well as Mega Man X Dive (although I haven't touched that one in over two months). Work and executive dysfunction have sorta killed my motivation for gaming recently, but hopefully I can muster up enough energy to have regular game seshes in the new year.

This year wasn't all sunshine and rainbows, though. I got COVID in May, which sucked big-time. Especially because my sister was visiting the same week I got it. I'm glad I was able to have my family help out wherever they could (from a safe distance, of course), but I still ended up going a bit stir crazy at the end of my isolation period. And the fact that I had to put off a night on the town with my sis until months later stung pretty bad, too. But I got through COVID relatively OK, and I'm fully vaxxed + up to date with my boosters, and I'm still quite careful wrt. masking and distancing, so hopefully I won't get it again. Emphasis on "hopefully".

Now as we pivot into 2023, here are some of my goals for the new year:

- Create more. I didn't put out nearly as much fic as I did in 2021, so I deffo have to start doing that. I do have several WIPs in the work, so hopefully I can haul them out of limbo and finish them. I also have a SHITTON of plot bunnies I want to expand on, so there's that as well. Plus, I signed up for a big bang, so that'll definitely motivate me to write more. And in terms of non-fic works, I got a tablet for Christmas that I've been trying out MediBang on, so hopefully that'll motivate me to do more drawing. And of course, I have a ton of UTAU ideas, including a few JJBA jinriki VBs.

- Get back into working out. I was working out at least every other day for the first half of last year, and I enjoyed it. Unfortunately, I haven't been able to find the time to work out after getting my full-time job, so I'm gonna have to properly set a time that I can work out after that. Maybe I won't go right for the same intensity I was at last year, but even if I can get myself working out 1-3 times a week, I'll be satisfied.

- Get a better schedule for my nights after work. I have at least 6 hours after work every weekday before I go to bed, so hopefully I can budget that time into my creative work, workout time, and other stuff I didn't go into here. Unfortunately, executive dysfunction can be a pretty harsh mistress, so I don't know how much of a schedule I'll be able to keep up. But even if I reach all these other goals without this one specifically, I'll be happy.

So yeah, that's my 2023 plans in a nutshell. Hope it's gonna be a good one!
eff_ess_oe: Edited fanart of Morbius with Steve Buscemi's eyes. From Vinesauce Joel's "Wish Dumpster Diving 6" (Default)
So uh... Merry (Almost) Christmas to all who celebrate it. I don't know how to do a proper intro for this, but I'm just gonna say that this year's Christmas is... kinda weird for me. Last year I wasn't really in the most festive mood until Christmas Eve, but this year I've been pretty excited for it since the second week of December. And that train of excitement's been rolling for most of the month after that.

But starting yesterday afternoon, my neck of the woods got hit with a fucking MASSIVE snowstorm. The 401's been closed from Oshawa to Ottawa, train service is at a standstill, and I had a hard time getting home from work. Or rather, the cab company had a hard time getting me home. The app and the phone lines had some difficulty getting me connected for a good chunk of my time after work. Lucky for me, the front desk was able to call a cab via landline, and I got a ride after 10 minutes. But the poor cabbie had to a) scrape snow and ice off the wiper blades just before we hit the main road (as in: pull over, get out, wrestle with the scraper, and then get on the main road ASAP before the traffic light turn red), and b) struggle with the point-of-sale machine for a long time when i was trying to pay via debit. I managed to go inside and pay via cash (while also giving a big tip), but I couldn't help but feel for the poor guy. Hopefully he received a bunch of other good tips that day for his troubles.

So I was kinda frazzled yesterday, but that was able to die down in a decent amount of time. Our household had a nice little visit with Mom's BF where he helped start up our gas fireplace. We also had some homemade pizza, which was delicious. Then I spent the rest of the night surfing the web and gorging myself on candy. Which I guess isn't super "productive", but hey. I deserve to be unproductive after work kicking my ass plus the shitstorm that was getting home last night.

This morning also went pretty decent. I managed to clean a great deal of the house as well as finish up most of my laundry. Blasting Trans-Siberian Orchestra also enhanced the experience. But then I received the bad news: my little sister might not be able to come home for the holidays. Her original plan was to head out on Friday to get home, but as stated earlier, the 401 is closed, and the trains aren't doing so good. So she had to put her homecoming off until what should have been this morning. Unfortunately, weather complications have pushed it back until potentially late tomorrow morning/early afternoon. And even then, she might not be able to make it.

I mean, the older we get, the more likely we'll end up running into situations where the whole family can't be there for Christmas. People have jobs, people move away, storms hit, et cetera. But I think because this is the first year it's happened to me, it's kinda hitting harder than anticipated. Plus, there's the usual autistic frustration of having your plans change too soon, which I think is the biggest reason why I'm not feeling as happy as I usually am this time of year.

I don't know. I just feel weird. Like I said, it's probably due to expected plans changing so fast. But at the same time, I feel bad for my sister. I guess we're just gonna have to see how things play out. Whatevs. Happy holidays.

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eff_ess_oe: Edited fanart of Morbius with Steve Buscemi's eyes. From Vinesauce Joel's "Wish Dumpster Diving 6" (Default)
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